Taboo
by hiei1317
Summary: Sai wants to do the right thing socially, and take part in Halloween. Sakura just wants to please Tsunade, so she agrees to go out on Halloween. What happens when they two collide?


a/n: yeah, this is an entry into a contest on deviantart... it's in the club SaiSaku-Love if you're interested in checking that out. It's an awesome club!

disclaimer: the Naruto characters are not mine!!! They are © to Masashi Kishimoto

Enjoy

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SAKURA POV

"That's all for today, you can go home, Sakura."

I look up to see Tsunade smiling down at me pleasantly, and it takes me a moment to realize what she has said.

"Are you sure I can't stay a little while longer, Tsunade?" I beg.

"Don't tell me that on Halloween night you have nothing planned," she doesn't even make it a question.

I shake my head, "Naruto was going to train with Kakashi, and my ideal night includes avoiding Sai."

"Now Sakura, you know that is no way to talk about a team member," Tsunade scolds.

I bow to her, "I do, but that doesn't make him any less rude."

She sighs, "He has been trying lately though, Sakura. Maybe you should give him a chance. One of my assistants saw him in the library a couple of days ago reading up on Halloween."

"You mean he's actually going to parade around on Halloween?"

"Didn't you when you were younger?"

"Yes, but I haven't done that in a long time, not since I became a ninja."

Tsunade shrugs, "Maybe it's time to give it another try."

I look up at her, "Don't tell me…"

She looks at me for a second, thinking, then raises her hands in defense, shaking her head, "Oh, no! I don't still dress up in a mask, but I will be expected to make an appearance tonight."

"At the mini-festival you mean?"

"Mini-festival…?"

I shrug, "That's what Naruto called it earlier."

She laughs lightly and nods, "Sounds like something he might say." She nudges me with her elbow, "Now go on, get out of here. You'd benefit from a night off."

I grab my bag and shrug it over my shoulder before taking her advice and going home to find a costume. Halfway there I realize that I really don't have a costume that would fit me anymore. I'm thinking so hard about the said costume problem that I don't see Sai until I almost run head on into him.

He smirks that fake smirk of his at me, "Watch where you're going, ugly."

I glare at him, my inner self screaming obscenities, "And you watch your mouth!"

He tilts his head, "What are you so tense over?"

I growl, "For your information I'm thinking of a costume for tonight."

"Still don't have one?" he shrugs, "I got mine a few weeks back. It's not like you to be last minute on things."

I shake my head, "I wouldn't even be going if Tsunade didn't want me to."

"So you're only doing this for Tsunade, not for yourself?" his head tilts to the other side. Sometimes I forget Sai isn't used to interacting with other people. This isn't one of those times.

"I just don't know," I push past him in an attempt to end the conversation.

He turns and starts to walk with me, "How could you not know?"

I sigh, "I guess a part of me really does want to go, and another part wants to stay home and enjoy a quiet night."

He flashes me that brilliant and meaningless smile, "Halloween only comes once a year, you can have a quiet night tomorrow."

I mirror that empty smile, "Yeah, I guess so."

He stops, "I have to go the other way."

"I didn't make you follow me," I point out.

"You're right," he nods, turning the other way, "See you later, ugly."

For a moment I want to chase after him and strangle him, my inner self already throttling him in my mind, but I dig my nails into my palms and continue my walk home. When I reach my house I open the front door and instantly go searching my closet for something to wear other than that old dress with the mask that doesn't even match. I study the wrap dress closely, it's elaborate Sakura blooms. It was a present for my mother, but it didn't fit me when she bought it. I slip it on over my clothes and realize it fits perfectly now.

I shrug, there's nothing better in my closet to wear tonight any ways. I pull the dress off and flop down on my bed, picking up the novel that I started yesterday, figuring that's what I would have done tonight and figuring I can do some reading now instead.

I lose myself in the book, and when I look up the sun is setting in the window next to my bed. The festival will be starting soon. I throw off my work clothes and quickly arrange the dress, pulling my hair back and making it look messy, and yet somehow neat. I smile at myself in the mirror, pleased with my last minute job, and then run out, taking my keys and locking the front door before finding my way to the streets and mingling with the growing crowd.

I wander past the Yamanaka flower shop to find Ino walking out with Shikamaru and Choji trailing close behind. Ino spots me and instantly grins, running over.

"Hey billboard brow, didn't expect to see you here," she greets.

I growl as the boys start a conversation including the words 'how annoying' and a muffled agreement, "For your information I have the night off."

"Good, then you can help me find Sai," she smiles sweetly, knowing that if she needs my help she can try and charm me into it.

It doesn't work, "Why would you want to find him?"

"Oh yeah," she giggles, "he thinks you're ugly."

My eyebrow twitches in annoyance, "Thanks for reminding me."

"Yeah," she leans back on the heels of her feet, "I'm hoping to find him and maybe trick him into a date."

"A date?" I exclaim.

"Sure, he's sweet enough, and he's not too hard to look at either, if you know what I mean," she nudges.

"That's about the only thing good about him," I sigh.

She grins as our eyes meet and we have a rare moment of mutual understanding, one that seems to be shared between females when the subject concerns males. The moment quickly passes and she turns away, searching the crowd again.

"Well," she sighs, "I better go find him before some other girl does. See ya later."

She waves as she runs off, Shikamaru and Choji not even trying to keep up with her. I go back to making my way through the crowd. With so many masks I can't seem to recognize anyone, even if I normally would. It's quite isolating. I finally spot a person I wouldn't miss anywhere, though, Jiraiya. He's talking to Tsunade, the two smiling at each other. I don't know exactly what they're talking about, but since it's rare for those two to really smile at each other the way they're doing so it must be Naruto. He seems to be able to get everyone to get along.

I then spot the blonde, followed Kakashi. In a way I'm glad Ino just ran off in the opposite direction, and in a way I'm not. I don't want to see her with him, but I don't particularly want to be around him right now either. Then I notice Sai isn't with them.

Naruto hurries up to me waving, "Hey, Sakura!"

"Hi, Naruto," I wave back as he stops at my side.

"What are you doing right now?" Naruto tilts his head.

Kakashi comes up behind him, ruffling the blonde's hair, "I was going to find Sai so we could have ramen as a team. My treat." Most people wouldn't be able to tell that Kakashi is smiling, but I've learned just by listening to his voice.

I stop when he says Sai's name, not exactly thrilled that he's coming with, but I force a smile, looking over to Naruto, "Sure, I'll come."

Naruto grins, "Great! Hey, Kakashi-sensei, can we go ahead and get a table?"

Kakashi sighs, "I'd prefer we look for him all look for him. I'm not even sure he's at the festival. I was going to check by his house. Why don't you both look for him and we'll meet at Ichiraku's in an hour."

"Alright," Naruto bounces, instantly taking off.

Kakashi also takes off without even saying goodbye, but that's just like the man. He's lazy, and doesn't say something unless it's important enough to open his mouth for.

I sigh and take off in the opposite direction as Naruto, which is the same general direction I was originally headed in any ways. I cross my arms to avoid crashing into people as the crowd becomes more congested. I look over to my left and see a flash of an all too familiar outfit. I have to double take before I recognize the outfit in its entirety.

I stop, not completely believing my eyes and not really caring about the crashing crowd around me. Tears start to form in the corner of my eyes as I look at the all too familiar face. Sasuke…

I keep staring, the tears becoming fuller as he continues to push through the crowd. He looks to the side and spots me, and a smile crosses his face. It's like I've fallen into a dream. Then I recognize the expression, the smile that shouldn't be there and the eyes that the smile never reaches. It's not Sasuke… it's Sai. I feel my tears boil as my anger rises.

I storm over to his half of the crowd as he takes one step back out of the crowd and into the confines of an open vendor. I make it to his side of the crowd and see his outfit for the first time without hindrance. The white shirt partially open, the dark pants, the stupid purple tie around his waist, and the same sword sheath. Before I can stop myself, my hand lands squarely across the imposter's face, across Sai's face. I watch a bright red hand mark form across his cheek and something deep in me is thankful I didn't make a fist out of that hand.

His eyes show the first real emotion I've ever really seen in him, shock. His mouth gapes open and it takes him a couple of tries to manage to say, "Sakura?"

"How dare you?" I scream, "How dare you dress like him?"

He blinks once, "I read in a book that you're supposed to dress like someone else, someone that's nothing like you-"

"Shut up!" I screech. I pause, panting in my frustration, "You have no right to dress like him. Not only is it an insult to him, but it's an insult to this entire village! This isn't how he should be remembered."

The tears start to sting in my eyes again as his eyes mask back to their clear emotionless state, "I was just doing what I read I should. I didn't understand that there were rules against dressing as certain people."

I glare fully at him. If looks could kill he would have died by now, "Even you should know better, Sai. Even _you_ should know that dressing as Sasuke is off limits."

He looks at me a little uncertainly before pulling me into his arms, "I'm sorry."

I stop for a second, his warm, firm arms protectively around me. For a moment I want nothing more than to stay here, to feel secure, but that feeling passes as I start to struggle out of his arms, knowing how wrong this is. He lets go and I resume glaring at him, "What the hell was that?"

"Again, I read it in a book. It said that a good way to apologize is to hug the person that you've hurt, I hurt you, did I not?" he asks uncertainly.

"Humph," I cross my arms, "yeah, sure, you did. Just don't hug me like that again."

"Did it anger you?"

"Yeah," I put simply, "it angered me."

He looks down at the ground, "I keep trying, Sakura, but I forgot my emotions long ago. They're dead to me now, but I'm trying for the team."

I lean back against a post, steadying myself, "I know, I know…" Though anger still laces through my voice, it's starting to subside. I take a deep breath in, count to ten, and let it out before trying to talk to him again, "Look, Kakashi and Naruto want to meet for ramen at Ichiraku's. That's why I'm still talking to you. They're meeting up there soon enough, we should go."

He nods, and follows me through the crowd, which parts at the sight of his costume. At least there's one perk to his outfit, I'm not being pushed around anymore. Ichiraku's appears on the horizon surprisingly fast considering the crowd, but again, they're all parting for Sai.

We reach the restaurant to see Kakashi and Naruto already seated. Kakashi is facing us, so he's the first to spot us. His one visible eye widens minutely before settling back into it's bored daze. Naruto turns around and I see his face freeze at the sight of Sai's outfit. I can tell that something similar to what I did earlier is about to happen. Before it can I place a hand on his shoulder. Despite his fuming he looks over to me and when I'm sure I have his attention I shake my head.

He opens his mouth to protest, but I shake my head again and whisper, "He knows Naruto. I made sure of that."

Naruto then notices the pink mark across Sai's cheek, and smirks uncharacteristically. He then scoots his chair a little closer to Kakashi so I can sit next to him and Sai sits between Kakashi and me. Sai instantly busies himself with a menu as I open one as well. Really, I'm not too hungry, but I didn't want to be rude. I won't usually eat for another few hours, on an early night. Usually I'm still working now.

Naruto constantly glances over at Sai, and I wish I could tell what he was thinking. I know what I think of every time I look over to Sai: I think of our failed mission. I sigh and shake my head, shaking the nasty thoughts away. There's nothing we can do about that here and now.

Sai purposely keeps his eyes down, and I can't tell if I've hurt him or if he knows what he's done is wrong and doesn't want to be lectured or yelled at by Naruto, Kakashi, me, or some combination of the three of us. He closes the menu and orders his usual. Saying "the usual" here for Team 7 has become a well-known tradition. Only Naruto changes what type of ramen he gets, the rest of us just humor him half the time.

I order "the usual" as well, and look over to Naruto, "How's training going?"

"Tough," he frowns, "but it's all going to be worth it," he smiles again, "you'll see."

"I don't doubt it," I smile back at him.

Sai's watching us, but Naruto ignores him, "How about you, Sakura, Tsunade teaching you anything good?"

I nod, "Sure! It's really good stuff to know for missions too, despite working for her all hours of the day."

Kakashi speaks up, "We should all get together and train sometime soon, it would be good to see how all of us are getting stronger."

I nod, smiling, "Yeah."

Naruto grins, "Great idea, Kakashi-sensei! I'll show off my best stuff."

"I thought you already had," Sai murmurs.

"No one asked you," Naruto growls.

Sai opens his mouth to snap some witty comment back, but it takes even Kakashi by surprise when he closes his mouth and replaces his wit with, "I don't want to fight tonight."

Naruto doesn't stop for long, resuming eating, and Kakashi sits back watching Naruto eat him out of the last of his cash, but I leave the fresh ramen that has been left in front of me and replace my attention with Sai. He looks down at his food, teases is a little, and picks a little up for a bite before dropping it back in the bowl, and pushing it toward Naruto.

"I'm not so hungry, actually," he shrugs off. Naruto looks at the offered ramen for a moment before greedily snatching it as Sai stands to leave.

I watch Sai head into the crowd and a pang of guilt runs through my heart. Guilt! I don't understand it, but I feel guilty, like I took everything that was Sai and destroyed it. I watch him disappear into the crowd and turn quickly back to my ramen. I wasn't hungry to begin with, and this guilt is just making me feel sick.

I stand up, pushing my ramen towards Naruto as well, "I'm not too hungry either."

Kakashi nods as Naruto stares dumbly at me as I run after Sai. First thing I hit the wall of people I loose all sense of direction. There's no way to even see the entrance to Ichiraku's anymore and I don't even know which way Sai went.

I start to flow with the crowd, trying to make it to all different parts, searching for the tell tale outfit Sai is wearing, but there are just too many costumes. I continue to flow with the people, as if we were just water droplets in a river, moving as one. I try to move a little faster than the rest though, running into new faces as I go.

I'm just about to give up when I see Shikamaru off to one side with Choji ordering something from one of the vendors. I make my way over and sigh as I'm thrown from the crowd.

"Have either of you seen Sai?" I gasp out.

Shikamaru gives me a questioning look, "I thought you were avoiding him."

"I am… or I was, then Naruto and Kakashi invited him and I to have ramen," the name of the food catches Choji's attention, "I think Naruto and I upset him and now I'm just trying to see if he's upset or if he just felt a little awkward or something. I can never tell."

Shikamaru huffs, then sighs, "Yeah, I saw him. He was headed toward the library, as far as I could tell."

I smile, "Thanks!"

"Yeah, sure," he waves off as I take off running in the direction of the library. The longer this takes the more it's starting to bother me. I reach the library after about fifteen minutes, though usually it would only have been a five-minute walk. I jump up the stairs and open the door to find it empty of seemingly everyone but me. I know better, Sai has to be here, it's just strange that no one else is.

I walk to the back section of the room, headed for the furthest isolated tables. Sai always seems to sit there. I spot him in the furthest corner, face buried in a book and his hand covering most of the title. I make my way back to him, weaving through the tables until I'm leaning against his. He doesn't look up until my hands hit the wood opposite where he's sitting.

"What did I do this time?" he asks, setting the book face down.

I shake my head, "Nothing." I touch the chair I'm leaning against, "May I?"

He nods, "Sure, I can leave."

I gently rest my hand on his arm, "I want to talk."

"This is a library. Isn't it supposed to be quiet?"

I grab onto his sleeve, "We're the only ones here."

He sits back down, "I should really continue reading, you've made that clear tonight."

"I'm sorry," I let go of his sleeve, "I didn't mean to be so harsh."

He looks at me surprisingly evenly, "It's all right, I guess I need to know these things."

I nod, "Sure, but that was no reason for me to be as rude as I was. I guess I just overreacted when I saw that outfit. Besides, I'm your team mate, I'm supposed to help you."

"Yeah, thanks for the offer, but I think I'll be just fine on my own," he stands and I have to jump up to stop him.

"There's no 'I' in 'team' Sai, and that's especially true for our team," I put my hands on my hips in a mock Tsunade style.

"I don't need a team to help me learn emotions," he insists.

"I want to help," I insist as well.

He turns away, "You already have, you always do. You always tell me when I do even the slightest thing wrong."

"I know," I growl in frustration, "You don't have to remind me about how terrible a team mate I am."

"Just leave me alone," he sighs.

I move to face him, "What is your pro-" I'm cut off, but at first I can't tell by what. Then the soft lips against mine register somewhere in my head. My eyes can barely manage to focus on Sai before blurring into an image of Sasuke. I have to squeeze my eyes shut and pull back.

"Sai…" I whisper.

"I'm sorry," but he doesn't sound it.

"What was that about?" my anger starts to build again.

He smiles that meaningless smile, "I had to shut you up somehow. Besides, you didn't seem to mind at first."

I frown, flexing my fists, "That was still no reason to do that."

"But that's what a guy does when he likes a girl, isn't it?"

I look up at him with a question, but have no time to ask before his lips are on mine once more. My eyes slip shut as one of his hands comes up to rest on the back of my neck. I moan a little as his other hand wraps around my waist, pulling me closer. My mind tries to reel with questions but his lips anchor me on one track, the feeling of security his arms bring me, the feeling of comfort in his touch. I know I could give myself away in this moment and that he wouldn't hurt me, and I can tell just by the way he touches me.

He breaks this kiss, but keeps his hands securely in place. I lean back slightly so I can look into his eyes, and they're not really his eyes now, these eyes are soft.

"Sakura… I don't understand it, but I feel different around you then around anyone else. It reminds me of the way you feel when you talk about Sasuke from before. I think I like you…" the uncertainty in his voice shows how awkward this is for him.

I stare at him for a moment and tilt my head, "How long…?"

"I don't know, I didn't notice it that long ago," he explains.

I nod, relaxing in his arms as he gently pulls me closer. His muscles tense in his arms as he holds me, securing me in place. I can't tell whether this is protective or uncertain, but I don't care as I relax, my cheek on his smooth, warm skin.

"Why do you call me 'ugly' if you don't really think I am, or do you?" I whisper.

He shakes his head, "I don't think you're ugly, but my understanding of a nickname seems to be askew, as I've heard."

"So you don't really like Ino?" my inner self leans in hopefully.

He shakes his head again, "No."

I smile, inwardly doing a victory dance. She really doesn't have a step up on me like she thinks she does. His hand that still is on my neck tentatively moves to my hair, gently playing with it. I readjust to allow him better access and nuzzle into the soft, white cloth of his shirt. As my mind puzzles over the equation of Sai equaling good my body quickly adjusts to Sai equaling comfort. He brushes his fingernails over my scalp and I can tell he's just experimenting now, not spitting back any crap from in a book. He's just working on instinct.

I smile as he tilts my head up to face him, brushing his lips again over mine, then he lets go, keeping me close but not against him any longer. He looks to the clock and so do I. It's almost 10 now, leaving the festival in full blast.

He offers me his arm, and this time I know he got it from a book, "Should we go back?"

I nod, taking his hand instead, "Yeah." A pause, "Hey Sai?"

"Yeah?"

"Happy Halloween," I smile.

"Happy Halloween, Sakura," he smiles back and again his eyes are not his, because for the first time since I met him, his smile as reached his eyes.

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a/n: yeah... please review... even a flame I'll take! 


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